WickedHamster

Counter-Reformation

2009-08-02T09:08:00.004-04:00

"Ha, ha, ha. . . the Lutherans will never be expecting an air-strike. Victory is ours at last!"

Gee...

2009-07-22T16:03:00.002-04:00

He's even got a portable one!

Pope on Vacation

2009-07-20T09:44:00.003-04:00

Note use of comfortable and convenient lightweight summer throne. (Yes, poor Popey has a boo-boo on the pontifical wrist.)

Could come in real handy!

2009-07-19T09:52:00.004-04:00

Remind me to get one of these for the next time I go to Italy on a state visit. My delicate little fur is so sensitive to the sun.

Here beginneth...

2009-07-14T18:36:00.008-04:00

the tale of Hamster's trip to Washington (no, the other Washington). The successful global despot should always take an interest in his foreign service, so I decided to pop in on the embassy for an inspection, and take in a few sights, of course. In my previous post, I mentioned I picked up some brilliant summer reading at the Library of Congress. As some may know, armed forces from a certain nation which shall go unnamed torched the place in the early 19th century. This, of course, required building all new:
This building, the first of what are now three, is right across from the capitol (which aforementioned forces also turned to toast a while back).
The interior has been recently restored, and it is delicious:
Many lovely details,

(yes, that's mosaic in the arch, not painting)

the wall paintings are Pompeian 2nd and 3rd style (Kel or Duncan, correct me if I'm wrong),
even though the architectural inspiration looks rather Hadrianic,and the main reading room looks positively Hagia Sophia:
I swear this is where Harry Weese, the architect for Metro, got the inspiration for the design of the underground stations:
And you can never tell what kind of DC power brokers might be hanging around, researching or trying to find a good read for the train...

Literary Matters

2009-07-13T21:12:00.003-04:00

Why I never send in to those "What are you
reading now?" columns in the newspaper.

Hey, at least I bought it at the
Library of Congress shop last week!

A Fairy Tale for Our Times

2009-06-21T11:46:00.006-04:00

"Trips to Grandma's are a lot more fun
since they put up that Burger King."

For those of you under the weather out there...

2009-06-14T15:38:00.001-04:00

For Kel...

2009-06-04T19:14:00.004-04:00

IT'S SUMMERTIME!
Yippee!!! Camp will be starting in just a couple weeks!!!

Modern Air Travel

2009-06-02T08:53:00.001-04:00

Is it any wonder Penguins don't fly???

Never a dull moment with the Tookers!

2009-05-28T07:52:00.003-04:00

What do these critters have in common?

Apparently, not much. {Tee-hee-hee!}

For the man who has everything...

2009-05-11T07:52:00.002-04:00

Hey, look at the cool new throne the Jordanians just gave me! It's even got a built-in iPod connection.

I got nothin'...

2009-05-01T17:18:00.002-04:00

Been busy all week, workin' away. Nothing much to report. So I'll just sit here and look cute, and get ready watch the Derby...

Battle of the Bulge

2009-04-20T20:29:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, it's better to go on a diet first, THEN start exercising.

No Easter would be complete without...

2009-04-16T09:12:00.004-04:00

Veteran HamsterFans knew that His Holiness was going to show up somewhere in this series. One of the great things about being Pope at Easter is that you get to show off your neat throne collection. Observe:Of course, by custom, the Pope goes to Castelgandolfo to rest the week after Easter.Sitting on thrones all week can, apparently, take a lot outta ya! It's true. The Hamster knows this.

Post-Easter Musings #2

2009-04-14T12:05:00.003-04:00

Apparently an ancient folk custom in Romania. But if you ask me, its just plain creepy! "Hi boys and girls, and welcome to Stephen King's Easter Egg Hunt!"

Post-Easter Musings #1

2009-04-13T10:12:00.003-04:00

For some reason, with Easter this year, I began to notice some really quite odd happenings that take place in connection with the event. So, being Wicked and all, I thought I'd run a little series on the peculiarities I came across.

Let's start with a curious picture of some folk from one of the penitents' societies common in Hispanic culture:Hey, whatever floats your boat and all. But what is the purpose of taking a picture of people you can't even recognise? "That's aunt Mildred, second from left, under the sheet; and that's little Bobby on the right, under the sheet, isn't he cute and he's grown so much over the past year! And that's..." I mean, really, what's the point?

HAPPY EASTER!!!!

2009-04-11T19:44:00.002-04:00

Domestic Agenda

2009-04-10T10:38:00.003-04:00

Darn! I've really got to get that leak in the roof fixed one of these days..."

Many Happy Returns!

2009-04-06T21:30:00.003-04:00

We give Our most sincere best wishes to Our right-trusty rodentine infant, Baby Squirrel! ❤ ❤ ❤

Squirrel Trek

2009-03-30T17:15:00.003-04:00

What with the volcano and all, We have been carefully monitoring Squirrel's journey to Anchorage at Our Global Monitoring Station via satellite. We want to make sure he gets home for Baby Squirrel's big day! We have put forces on alert in case it becomes necessary to send in a team to extract him.

10,000 YEARS TO THE WOODCHUCKS!!!

2009-03-26T23:30:00.003-04:00

The start of 17 (or is it 18?) years of unspeakable bliss!

An Odd Situation

2009-03-22T17:36:00.005-04:00

For those of you who perhaps haven't been following the mightiest spectacle in all of sport -- I refer, of course, to the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament -- I thought I would remark on the peculiar situation the Fates have dealt me this time. In the next round, the East Regional Semi-Finals, my undergraduate alma mater, Villanova, will be playing my graduate alma mater, Duke. That's never happened to me before. I will end up rooting for Duke, because that's the institution from which I have the higher degree, and... well... I'm a snob. But either way, I win. I like that kind of situation.

Diplomatic Gaffe!

2009-03-20T09:34:00.002-04:00

No one told the First Lady of Cameroon about the rule that you don't wear a fancier hat than the Pope. A shocking breach of etiquette!

Why I don't exercise

2009-03-19T11:15:00.001-04:00

It's just plain dangerous!

Why I Get Quiet Sometimes

2009-03-11T20:46:00.003-04:00

Utterly Gratuitous Posting

2009-03-08T16:19:00.003-04:00

In some states and jurisdictions, it is illegal to put pancakes on a rabbit's head.

For those of you...

2009-02-25T08:47:00.002-05:00

who might question the authenticity of the "Herd Virtual Imperial Penguins" feature on this site, regard the following: How to Herd Penguins

Just another manic Monday...

2009-02-23T11:44:00.002-05:00

"Somebody left their lunch in the frig in the break room over the weekend; I need to remind you that's a potential health hazard. The copier on the 2nd floor is broken, and the guy's been called. They'll be installing the new hand-dryers in the cardinals' restroom Thursday. OK, any other announcements? Then lets get out there people and save some souls!"

My Favorite Martian

2009-02-20T08:08:00.003-05:00

Rushing out of the palace the other day, the Pope forgot his skullcap. Luckily he was able to levitate it out of his room and on to his head with a mere wave of his hand. Dang! The perks that come with that job!

Know Your Poultry!

2009-02-17T16:03:00.001-05:00

This is what a penguin looks like when it finds your conversation tiresome.

Ch, ch, ch, chia!

2009-02-12T20:43:00.002-05:00

Central Hamster Intelligence Agency operative working undercover as a squash. Wherever you are, we are watching you!

View from the window today

2009-02-03T11:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, all the ice had melted and the streets weren't even wet. Crap! Crap, I say!

Then again...

2009-01-31T14:13:00.007-05:00

maybe it wasn't the Scots.

the back yard (note the flamingo):

the front yard (note the curiously positioned tree):

the neighbor's yard:

down the street:
further up the street (note the forbidding sky):

Crisis Resolved!

2009-01-29T19:32:00.002-05:00

As some of you know, there was a dastardly attack against the power grid of the paradisaical Hamster Realms yesterday. We suspect Scottish fifth-columnists:
Happily, The Rodentine Office of Emergency Preparedness had drilled for this sort of thing, and there was only the slightest interruption of despotic services.

More on the is story to follow. . .

Oscar Fever

2009-01-27T19:06:00.005-05:00

In Hollywood, auditions have started for the new, all-penguin version of "Chariots of Fire." I smell an oscar... or is that just herring?

The Rangers at the Inauguration!

2009-01-23T19:29:00.004-05:00

Some memorable photos from the Lawn Rangers site:
And it's so heartening to see that they believe in giving rodents their due!
There are also You Tube videos of the Rangers at the inauguration, including one with images of precision lawn drilling overlaid by hysterically pompous commentary by MSNBC folk, who obviously weren't paying much attention to the images going out on the screen during their pontifications.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGLA6Zvjybk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUr2JKIw89w

We must remember to invite them to Our next Hamster Patriotic Event!

Inauguration Pageantry

2009-01-21T13:13:00.008-05:00

No doubt, many of you, like me, were awed and moved by the appearance of the World Famous Lawn Rangers Precision Lawn Mower Drill Team from Arcola, Illinois in the parade yesterday. (Their motto is: "You're only young once... but you can always be immature.") This, unfortunately, is not a scene from the inaugural parade. I couldn't seem to find one on the net. It might be that the president's team is still covering up from his last encounter with the group. (Yes, that's the Commander-in-Chief with a green plunger.)"We will be the whoopee cushion of the inaugural parade," declared Ranger veteran Tom Bruno, a member of the Champaign City Council.

Does black...

2009-01-17T16:56:00.003-05:00

make me look fat?

Home Improvement

2009-01-13T12:21:00.001-05:00

I hear the Woodchuck's are doing something with their basement...

Darth Hamster

2009-01-12T14:27:00.001-05:00

Awwwwwwww!

2009-01-07T19:20:00.001-05:00

Just to make sure Squirrel doesn't have a monopoly on cute.

So... what's the Pope been up to lately?

2009-01-03T09:00:00.007-05:00

Judging the annual peculiar hat competition, junior division, at the Vatican.Followed by yet another Monday morning staff meeting....

National Portrait Gallery

2008-12-30T17:35:00.005-05:00

Lots of people know the National Gallery of Art, but not as many know the National Portrait Gallery, which is housed with the Smithsonian American Art Museum. It's a bit off the mall and the other museums, but it's well worth the visit. The collections are housed in one of the oldest public buildings in DC, begun in 1836, which was restored and refitted - gloriously - for museum use.The original Greek revival sandstone building, a treasure in its own right,was added onto over the years in grey granite to form a quadrangle. This was dramatically roofed (British Museum, eat your heart out). The building itself was returned to its original architectural elements, and the third floor, which was decorated in Victorian splendor, was restored. What was apparently a library or records office is now the public study center:which includes some American folk art penguins (no, I have no idea what their story is):A long corridor of offices and central lobby now holds the 20th century collection.In that collection is a room dedicated to this installation of some 200 TV sets. It's flabbergasting!
For those of you who liked the last video, here's another:

The gallery is another of the many less-known treasures of Washington.

Urban Livestock

2008-12-29T20:13:00.003-05:00

As many of you know, the House Sheep have been specifically bred to adopt behaviors which adapt to the human built environment. Here, they demonstrate their characteristic instinct to herd vertically, in high-density residential situations. Such clever creatures!

DC

2008-12-27T21:23:00.005-05:00

Video of a new electronic installation in the tunnel linking the National Gallery to the East Bldg. in Washington:

Visions of sugarplums

2008-12-22T07:48:00.003-05:00

Or maybe sugarherrings? Kids always get so excited this time of year. Here, hatchlings tell HamsterClaus what they want for Christmas this year.

Merry Christmas to All!

2008-12-20T16:10:00.004-05:00

We will soon be departing to spend the holidays at our new palace in Arlington. Have a merry ol' despotic time, HamsterFans! See you in the New Year!

New from HamsterLabs!

2008-12-14T14:02:00.003-05:00

The Risky Genetic Engineering Department of Imperial HamsterLabs Ltd. is proud to announce its latest innovation: The Pocket Sheep™!
Yes, from the same great people that brought you the House Sheep™
The Pocket Sheep™ is the latest in ovine technology. No larger than a credit card, the Pocket Sheep™ is perfect for today's active lifestyles! This go-anywhere, do-anything quadruped will give you all the snuggly comfort and affection you could want, in a convenient size. Put one in your pocket, in your purse, the glove compartment, your travel kit, anywhere where sudden insecurity might necessitate having a woolly friend nearby. Get yours today!
Remember, the one and only genuine Pocket Sheep™ is only available from HamsterLabs. Beware of imitators! Accept no substitutes!

Mindless Bird Blogging

2008-12-05T09:02:00.005-05:00

Penguins on vacation

TR's great-grandfather

"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille"

"I thought I heard a bird around here somewhere..."

Whoosh!!!

2008-12-01T19:55:00.008-05:00

OK, HamsterFans... Here we go. It's been a while since Our last post because:
-- we drove to Washington DC on the 15th
-- shopped for and rented an apartment
-- bought some furniture to put in said flat
-- drove to Florida on the 18th
-- departed on a cruise to the Bahamas on the 21st
-- came back to celebrate Thanksgiving in Florida on the 24th
-- departed to drive back to Kentucky on the 28th.

Our crowned imperial rodentine head is still spinning. Below, enjoy pix.

First of the new Imperial Hamster Ambassadorial Residence in Washington (2 blocks from the Pentagon):
The building which will house the Imperial Consort's office (2 blocks from the White House):
Here we are arriving in Nassau:
I took a shot of the local Starbucks for Kel & Meritt:
Lots o' barges. There must be a bunch of hamsters in this town...
Many pretty hotels:
Many pretty mansions and yachts on Paradise Island:
This one belongs to the Myers' of rum fame (just for you WC):
Queen Victoria in front of Government House in Nassau. The Bahamas were once oppressed under the colonial rule of the British...
But really, how oppressed can you be when you paint all your government buildings pink? They are pretty...

Meanwhile, back in Seattle...

2008-11-11T13:57:00.008-05:00

Amongst the delights of living on Puget Sound are the assorted islands and inlets that provide a charming retreat from the bustle of the big city. So let's hop aboard a friendly Washington State Ferry for a 30 min ride across to Bainbridge Island and indulge in more mindless photoblogging...

The Day of Moi

2008-11-07T07:20:00.002-05:00

Yes HamsterFans, once again it's Cosmic Hamster Appreciation Day, that glorious day upon which We condescended to bring Our Glorious Presence into the world. Tributes are pouring in from around the globe! Here, chinchillas high in the Andes celebrate their "Fiesta del Hamstero".
FYI: Jewels and precious metals do make thoughtful gifts.

We interrupt this blog...

2008-11-05T08:21:00.003-05:00

for the following paid political gloat:
I just couldn't resist. We now return you to our regular program.

-- by Decree of the Hamster

Space Needle

2008-11-04T15:46:00.005-05:00

Whilst awaiting election results, amuse yourselves with Seattle's landmark attraction, the Space Needle and accompanying monorail. There was great satisfaction seeing this in person. I so wanted to go to the '62 World's Fair; finally getting there healed yet another childhood scar...
Cool reflection in the Experience Music Project building -- very much an attraction in its own right.
I just LOVE monorails too!
There are some lovely gardens at the base of the Needle, an unexpected delight.

Pike Place

2008-11-01T13:49:00.003-04:00

A few shots of the Pike Place market (which is where the original Starbuck's is; this shot is, in fact, across the street from it).
Didn't get a picture of the famous flying fish, but we did notice this little pet crawling about the finny critters.
There's pretty flowers too, and all sorts of booths and shops.
On the weekend, there's even more stuff, with street vendors and all.
This was just soooo Seattle, I had to take a picture of it.

Happy Hamster Halloween!

2008-10-31T07:59:00.002-04:00

Time for the annual Grand Masque here at the palace. Fun, fun, fun!

(Note to self: Find person who recommended "Jurassic Park" theme and have him shot. I feel silly in this thing.)

There she is!

2008-10-30T08:24:00.005-04:00

You have to look real hard, but if you do, you might see Meritt sipping a macchiato in the window. (And yes, this is the very first, genuine, original Starbucks. In case you're wondering, this is before I set out the incense and candles in front of it.)

The Emerald City

2008-10-27T20:16:00.005-04:00

Now that We have completed coverage of the imperial progress, it's time to indulge in what a friend of mine calls"mindless photo blogging." Seattle is such a lovely city! So let's spend some time havin' a look-see. First, some cityscapes:

--from the top of the Space Needle
--and from street level
--and from the harbor

Back to Seattle

2008-10-20T18:05:00.013-04:00

After the state visit to British Columbia, the barge headed back to Seattle at full speed.
You can imagine how hard the little guys on the treadmills below decks had to work to turn up a wake like that!

Upon our return, We were of course, met by local officials and nobles.
Who were thoughtful enough to provide a nice new throne for Our use.
Hamster just LOVES pretty new thrones!

Then it was off to meet with our highest officials and most trusted councillors. Starting with an informal working lunch.
Note the port-a-flock once again provided security. Also, Butterball came along for the ride, eager to meet the most famous Woodchuck!

Many persons of the loftiest importance were in attendance.
Including the youngest members of the high nobility.
We then went off on a tour of the area and local artistic sites, including glass sculptures in Tacoma.
Members of the court were rapt in attention.
In the 17th century, a picture such as this would have been titled "The Beauties of the Court."
Beauty is, of course, in the eye of the beholder...
We have always believed that a wholesome and devoted family life amongst the younger nobility, such as the Squirrels, sets a fine example for the lower orders of society.
The day concluded with a state dinner at a Rogue Pub, the preferred beer-joint of the Imperial Court.
All in all, a perfectly tyrannical time was had by all. We must do this again some time soon!!!
Later that evening, the Imperial Air Marshall pulled up in "Despot 1" and We were flying off back to Lexington with so many happy memories!!!
WHEREAS, We were provided with a right-regal reception and delightfully despotic diversion on Our visit to Seattle, it's titles and promotions all around!

Woodchuck is hereby created Governor-General of Our Pacific Realms and Lord of the Woodlands.

Kel is hereby created Supreme Over-Mistress of checking opening hours and Queen of the Arts.

Squirrel is hereby created Imperial ArchForester, Master of Imperial Chain Saws, and Commissar of the Mold Detection Directorate.

Mrs. Squirrel is hereby created Rodentine Chief Justice for the Western District, with the power to hang at whim.

The Right-Noble Demoiselles Maraya, Elleah, and Baby Squirrel are created Princesses of the Rodentine Blood.

-- By Decree of The Hamster

Secrets of the stars revealed!

2008-10-19T10:52:00.003-04:00

So that's where his hair style came from!
(between the hair and the nose, there's a very strong family resemblance)

10,000 years to The Hamster and The Imperial Consort!!!

2008-10-17T09:33:00.005-04:00

(Today's our 16th anniversary.)

Greetings from the Sovereign Pontiff

2008-10-15T09:35:00.006-04:00

Howdy! Just wanted to pop in and let y'all know I'm still here. Everything's fine. It's just that lately Hamster's life has been so much more exciting than mine, I haven't seen the need to make an appearance. Take care everybody!

✠ Benedictus P.P. XVI, Pont. Max.

State Visit

2008-10-11T15:12:00.004-04:00

Next on the Imperial Progress was a state visit to the charming little town of Prince Rupert, British Columbia.
The local inhabitants thronged the port area to catch the arrival of the Imperial Barge.
Here you can see the Royal Mountie Honor Guard which greeted Us upon Our arrival.
The local marine rescue unit put on a demonstration for Us.
And We were made an honorary fire chief for the day. How quaint!
Then it was off to Government House where the personal representative of the Queen was waiting to receive Us. She's keen to put all that unpleasantness over Scotland behind us.

Patrolling the Frontier

2008-10-08T18:22:00.008-04:00

From Skagway we took a train up the mountains of the Klondike gold route to the Canadian border. We are pleased to report the Canadians aren't causing any trouble, so We had lots of time to enjoy the scenery, through the clouds to the mountain top, and an entirely different ecosystem up there. You may now enjoy too through Our boundless beneficence!

Official Duties

2008-10-03T16:21:00.004-04:00

Of course, Our main purpose in undertaking the Rodentine Progress through the provinces was to inspect shore defenses. Here are some missile silos - or were they grain silos? - whichever, they got imperially inspected.
And then it's back on the barge...
Here's a nice shot of a secret supply base. We would tell you where it is, but it's a secret. Besides, We can't remember. After a while, all secret supply bases start to look alike. Occupational hazard.
But We do love how pretty secret supply bases look at night!
One pleasurable task was formally inaugurating the new high-speed rail link in the northern possessions, the THV: Train à Hamster Vitesse. Here We are in the official car made for the occasion. (See! It even says "official car"!)Speaking of trains, We'll show you the exciting train trip up to the Canadian border in Our next post!

Back to School!

2008-10-01T19:43:00.002-04:00

Yep! You can tell school's back. Here students from Mahatma Gandhi Middle School line up for recess.

Moving along...

2008-09-28T11:23:00.005-04:00

We come to Ketchikan, famous for its fisheries and site of an Encampment of the Imperial Frontier Regiments. Note the lovely rushing stream and monument to the Imperial Salmon Stocks.
There's also an Imperial Seaplane Base.
There is much lovely nature and more rain forest.
The place also lends itself to the objet trouvé photography We so enjoy.
The locals are into art verité as well, as can be seen from this amusing installation found in someone's back yard.
The Imperial Encampment is located along a stream, making for convenient fishing to feed the hungry troops.
We also made sure to visit with the local morale officers to assess the spirit of the regiment.
They submitted a good report, though I might need to speak to the Provost Marshall about certain... uh... quality control issues with some of the morale personnel - if you catch my drift.

Penguin News!

2008-09-24T19:13:00.006-04:00

The California Academy of Sciences building in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, California is planning a grand opening.

What's being heralded as the greenest museum building in the world opens its doors to the public on September 27, 2008. The new academy in Golden Gate Park is insulated with nontoxic, second hand blue jeans and capped with a 2.5 acre living roof planted in native wildflowers.

Take a behind-the-scenes look at how the African Penguins are acclimating to the new Academy. Choose from any one of the three live webcams to watch the penguins.

******************

Thousands of Magellanic penguins have begun their yearly arrival to the coasts of the southeastern Argentine province of Chubut, where they will mate and breed for the next few months.

Local media on Friday broadcasted live images of the penguins walking ashore to meet their mates in what they call "The Penguin's Vigil".

And for the first time, this year the local Chubut government have also set up a website which is streaming the penguins' arrival to the Patagonia for 72 consecutive hours.

The migratory sea birds travel thousands of miles every year around this time from the coasts of Brazil to meet their partners and reproduce in the Patagonia's penguin colonies.

As temperatures begin to drop the penguins will then make their way back up the continent in search of warmer waters.

Chubut penguin website (in English)
Chubut daily penguin videos

Continuing with Our tour...

2008-09-22T15:53:00.007-04:00

Our first stop was Juneau. Any modern despot needs to be environmentally conscious (right Kel?) and hence Our first duty was to conduct an aerial inspection of glaciation, alpine rain forest, and, of course, the Imperial Moose Herds. We boarded the Rodentine Arctic Bush Plane and took off by sea.
We landed dramatically in the vicinity of the Imperial Barge.
Then up through the clouds on a tramway...
offering another lovely view of the barge...
to inspect the rain forest.
Glaciers, check. Rain forest, check. Moose, prospering. To be continued...

Incisive Social Commentary...

2008-09-20T20:10:00.002-04:00

I call this one "Technology Bringing People Closer Together". Tee hee hee! I'm SO wicked!

Come Sail Away With Me...

2008-09-19T09:18:00.007-04:00

Well Hamsterfans, get ready! Here We begin Our account of the trip to the great northwest! First, let Us give you a little tour of the Imperial Rodentine Barge.

First, a general view on Our Amusements Deck, preparing to depart Our good city of Seattle.

Lots of room to scutter amongst the shavings! The lotus-plant light fixtures and shiny decor are meant to recall Cleopatra's famous golden barge.

Here is a view of the Great Hall. Behind in the center you see the stairs and balcony where We make official appearances to adoring assembled multitudes.

Like so...

Sometimes I assemble the subjects in Our floating Opera House for a morale-building HamsterHarangue:

Here is the entrance hall to Our Private Deck. No photography is allowed as We do not want visitors mucking about smushing down the exotic aromatic shavings...

We will, however, give you a peek at the hot and cold running Jacuzzis.

If WC or Sq sail with Us sometime, We'll have them changed to ale and lager.

Of course, We take very good care of Our trusty crew. Here's the Crew's Mess.

Up these stairs is the entrance to Our Private Dining Deck. Again, no photography allowed, but note the entrance to Our Wine Cellar on this deck.

More soon!

Shake your booty

2008-09-17T13:43:00.007-04:00

We have returned! What a wonderful time, and what a wonderful reception We were given by Our imperial officials! There will be much to post. But for now, there is much sorting and stuff to do. As you can see, the pile of tribute We collected - not to mention a couple of new friends - will itself take some time to sift through.

Hamster just LOVES tribute!!! Since it was put in the imperial larder right away, the tribute of Our good city of Seattle was not included in the previous photo. So I post it below so as: 1) not to offend our good subjects in that city, and 2) to show Meritt We thought of her along the way (though not enough to prevent Us from joining the Rogue Nation, of course).

More soon!

On Vacation...

2008-09-03T08:40:00.004-04:00

Please tyrannize yourselves
till I get back.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2008-08-27T09:40:00.016-04:00

To Our Right-Trusty
and Much-Beloved
Imperial Consort!!!

"Hello. . .

2008-08-22T14:53:00.004-04:00

Bert! You still in there? Hello! You haven't posted since July 17th. Yoohoo! Hello..."

Sir Nils Olav Penguin

2008-08-15T12:42:00.007-04:00

Video with reading of the Royal Proclamation here.

Military penguin becomes a 'Sir'

A penguin who was previously made a Colonel-in-Chief of the Norwegian Army has been knighted at Edinburgh Zoo. Penguin Nils Olav has been an honorary member and mascot of the Norwegian King's Guard since the 1972. Over the years, he has been promoted through the ranks after being adopted by Royal Guard who visited the zoo. British Major General Euan Loudon officiated at the ceremony.

During the ceremony, Nils had a sword dubbed on each side of his head, where his shoulders should be, to confirm his regimental knighthood. A crowd of several hundred people joined the 130 guardsmen at the zoo. A citation from King Harald the Fifth of Norway was read out, which described Nils as "a penguin in every way qualified to receive the honour and dignity of knighthood".

The proud penguin was on his best behaviour throughout most of the ceremony, but shortly before the ritual was concluded and possibly suffering a bout of nerves he was seen to deposit a discrete white puddle on the ground.

Drawing a polite veil over that, Darren McGarry, animal collection manager at the zoo, said afterwards: "It went extremely well and we are delighted that the Norwegian Guard honoured Nils Olav with a knighthood. We all enjoyed the occasion and Nils was a perfect penguin throughout." The guardsmen come to see Nils every few years while they are in Edinburgh performing at the city's Military Tattoo. Mr McGarry, added: "Nils always recognises the Norwegian guardsmen when they come to visit him.He loves the attention he receives at the ceremony and takes his time inspecting the troops." Nils has also received medals for long service and had a 4ft bronze statue built in his honour.

Guardsman Captain Rune Wiik said: "We are extremely proud of Nils Olav and pleased that an enduring part of the Royal Guard is resident in Scotland helping to further strengthen ties between our two countries."

However, the penguin honoured on Friday is unfortunately not the original Nils Olav.He died in the 1980s and was replaced by a two-year-old penguin at the Zoo. Norway presented the zoo with its first king penguin in 1913, the year of its opening.

David Windmill, chief executive of the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, the charity that owns Edinburgh Zoo, said: "We have a long-standing history with the Norwegian King's Guard and it is something we are extremely proud of."

Good Times @ Castelgandolfo

2008-08-13T12:39:00.002-04:00

"And this week's winner for snappiest hat in the summer papal court, non-clerical category, goes to. . ."

Birds Gone Wild!

2008-08-06T16:24:00.007-04:00

Lots of people wonder: Do penguins go on vacation? If so, what do they do? (Well, OK, no one asks those questions, but humor me - or the birds will be angry....) As many in our little circle of cybernetic acquaintances know, penguins do, in fact, love to travel. So vacations are important to them.

Not surprisingly, the beach remains a favorite for the modern penguin. Going off to a nice surf spot is popular.
Some even get blond dye-jobs to get the California Dude look.For those who prefer something less exerting, penguin spas are popping up all over the place these days.
Of course, some prefer to just crash at home. Given their frequent preoccupation with things nautical and piscatory, whereas we call this "vegging out" they call it "floundering."Some like traveling to exotic places and investigating foreign peoples and cultures.
Many consult a travel professional to find the right vacation to suit them...
and avoid getting stuck in cheap hotel rooms.Of course, being such popular fowl, sometimes the natives get overly exuberant in their welcome. It's worse than the paparazzi some times.
And, sadly, some have ideas about "getting away from it all" that are just plain unhealthy!

Lazy, Hazy Days

2008-07-31T15:29:00.005-04:00

Kel's perspicacity (see her comment on previous post) has shown itself keenly astute once again. Rolling into August does bring on a season of doldrums. It's gotten humid, and they keep threatening close to triple-digit heat, though they've been mostly way off on that, due to highly unstable weather patterns coming in from the heartland. Likely the result of all the hail that silly Squirrel had to go and stir up in the Dakotas. Anywho, We've mainly just been laying about the Summer Palace, showing Ourselves to the public on the balcony every now and then to receive the adoring accolades of Our subjects. . .
reading, doing some crosswords, figuring out whether Uruguay is worth conquering, watching the new season of "Project Runway." You know, the usual Imperial Hamster Summer stuff.

They're at it again!

2008-07-25T11:06:00.003-04:00

from DailyRecord.co.uk:
Penguin Picked Up After 999 Alert

Jul 24 2008

RESCUERS hunting for the site of a plane crash at sea called off their search - after the casualties turned out to be two inflatable penguins.

Coastguard and lifeboat teams, along with a helicopter, were scrambled after an elderly man reported a light plane had ditched near Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire. He was convinced he saw wreckage glinting in the sun. But rescuers discovered that what he had spotted were two massive balloons shaped like penguins.

Victor Sutherland, coxswain of Fraserburgh Lifeboat, said: "When we got there, all we found were the penguins. They were pretty large and could easily be seen from the shore. I can understand why he thought they were debris."

The man raised the alarm on Wednesday afternoon when a microlight he had been watching off the coast vanished from view. But the search was called off after the 4ft penguins, which were semiinflated, were discovered. The two penguins - whose source remains a mystery - have now been "adopted" by the lifeboat team.

Mr Sutherland says he does not want the false alarm to put people off calling the Coastguard. He said: "It would have been a costly exercise. But the man did the right thing."

Olympic excitement!

2008-07-23T16:33:00.002-04:00

The Antarctic rugby team scrums, getting ready for the Beijing games. Go Black & Whites!!!

Ah Summer!

2008-07-20T17:47:00.002-04:00

Now that school is out and all, Kel and the girls can enjoy some mother-daughter bonding and maybe even go out on the town every now and then.

Grooming Behavior

2008-07-15T11:56:00.002-04:00

If you think getting the kids up and ready in the morning is tough at your house, you should see what we have to do around here!

Bovine Blimps

2008-07-11T16:35:00.003-04:00

Not to be outdone, and inspired by the penguins' unremitting efforts, the cows are now conducting dangerously imprudent experiments with dirigibles. Look out belooooooow!!!

Brave Penguin Test Pilot...

2008-07-07T19:01:00.002-04:00

prepares to launch in experimental remote-control flight assistance gear. God's speed, little fella!

Ho hum... (part II)

2008-07-03T07:54:00.002-04:00

Another day at work. Pontificates can get a little boring at times. (And no comments about my hat!)

Ho hum...

2008-07-01T08:24:00.002-04:00

Another day at work. Sabbaticals can get a little boring at times...

High gas prices...

2008-06-26T12:35:00.004-04:00

have finally hit the Vatican, resulting in drastic action.

The Perils of Penguinity

2008-06-18T19:43:00.007-04:00

Ya know, living with TR and nearly 100 of his closest relatives has given me a whole new perspective on penguin life. It's not all that easy...

The paparazzi follow you everywhere.

There are all those endless (and largely futile) hours spent in flight school.

Loosing a contact lens is sheer hell.

People give you funny looks when you do interpretive dance.

And there are those periodic bouts with the great existential questions.

Continued. . .

2008-06-14T16:15:00.003-04:00

The principles applaud the papal chef for the exceptional weenies.

After-dinner entertainment.: "Hey, watch this! I can do an eclipse!"

A good time was had by all.

Despotic Entertaining Tip #42

2008-06-13T09:19:00.002-04:00

During the summer months, a simple relaxed picnic can be just the thing to ease diplomatic tensions. Here, President Bush prepares to chow down at the Pontifical Weenie-Roast.

It's not just us, ya know!

2008-06-11T15:36:00.002-04:00

(AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

Tim Clark of South Africa pulls his penguin head cover off a club during the first round of the Stanford St. Jude Championship golf tournament in Memphis, Tenn., Thursday, June 5, 2008. Clark finished the day at 2-over par 72.

Look Out Cougs!

2008-06-07T17:37:00.003-04:00

In one of the stranger coincidences in my life recently, the dean of arts & sciences at my beloved and mighty place of employ - i.e., my "boss" in a way - has just been named provost at, of all places, Washington State Univ., alma mater of our Good and Right-Trusty Squirrel! Let's just say better you than us. One friend and colleague, possessed of strongish feelings toward our dean, threw a big party at the news. She herself was born and spent early years in beauteous Pullman (check out the National Lentil Festival) and threw an eastern WA themed party, complete with cheeses shipped in from the WSU dairy! (impressive, no?)Be assured we will keep Sq.'s alma mater in our thoughts and prayers here. Happily, the new provost comes after Squirrel and will depart before the Little Rodent hits campus, so no personal harm will be effected. Go Cougs!

Resistance is futile!

2008-06-03T14:16:00.004-04:00

On our little jaunt through Indiana, it struck me that the place might make a good target for conquest. This for several reasons:

TR rather liked the place.

They do take good care of their cows. Here they are enjoying a sleek, industrial style merry-go-round at one of their bovine amusement parks.

Certainly, it doesn't seem there'll be much resistance on the horizon.
But they do have the oddest looking dogs I've ever seen...

The Miracle of Birth!

2008-05-30T07:19:00.009-04:00

On the way to Chicago, we stopped for a tour of the Fair Oaks Dairy in northern Indiana, a set-up specifically designed to make cows less stressed and more comfortable. They certainly seemed to be quite happy and well-adjusted, but it can be hard to tell; they tend to keep their feelings to themselves. Stoic creatures they are. Among the attractions was the birthing barn. Several pregnant cows are brought in daily to deliver before the audience, and I must admit, it was fascinating. Bossie did, however, need a little assistance due to the size of the calf. Behold:
Curiously, from what I've seen on TV and high-school hygiene movies, the process with cows appears much tidier than it is for humans -- well, except for the straps maybe.

With this enlightening and appropriate post, we also say:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MR. WOODCHUCK!!!

(Bet they had to use the straps for you too...)

A Teaser

2008-05-29T14:56:00.003-04:00

There's something about tomorrow that makes woodchucks stand up and take notice. . . .

Know Your Poultry!

2008-05-18T17:57:00.004-04:00

The chicken goes: "Cluck, cluck."

The dodo goes: "¿Dónde está la fiesta?"

¡Hola!

2008-05-15T16:02:00.002-04:00

¿Dónde está la fiesta?
I hear there's gonna be big doin's next week in the great northwest. So I'm trying to impress Hamster with my knowledge of Mexican culture, hoping he'll send me as his official representative

Pase el tequila, por favor.

Due to fatigue...

2008-05-07T20:47:00.003-04:00

and a certain flagship state university not willing to release me from its clutches even though the semester is over, We are prevented from updating this blog at the present time. In the meanwhile, please enjoy this closely related post at another blog. Thank you for your attention and patience.

-- by Decree of The Hamster