Thoughtful Gifts - cont.

"Yeah, I just got one of these myself. You'll love it! You put the coffee in here..."

Thoughtful Gifts for Monarchs

"A new plunge-pot. Great! My old one broke last week. How did you know?"

Hamster Aphorism of the Week

--------------
Just because I don't care
doesn't mean I don't understand
--------------

EasterFunnies -- BONUS!!!

I told you you'd all pay. I didn't want it to come to this,
but an example had to be made!
There's more where this came from,
don't make me use it!

EaterFunnies #4

We end this Easter Week series on a sombre, reflective note, pondering mortality.

EasterFunnies #3

This one is dedicated to the dear and loyal married couples amongst my subjects.

EasterFunnies #2

The Hamster requires you to laugh.

EasterFunnies #1

(This moment of mirth is brought to you by Decree of The Hamster)

Despotic Easter Wishes to All!

Here is a picture of Us giving secret orders to Our ally, the Easter Bunny, to gather intelligence on Scotland during his rounds this weekend and make a full report upon his return. The Hamster has friends in the highest places and in all places. Let the heather and thistle look upon Us and despair! Happy Easter everybody!

Où sont les français?

(according to Wikipedia, s.v. "flying squirrel," this is a Southern Flying Squirrel from N. America)

Marshalling the forces...

Those of you who have been keeping up with Our Good and Right-Trusty Woodchuck (http://woodchuckwisdom.blogspot.com/) know that he has been diligent in training our squirrel infantry for our forthcoming annexation of Scotland. Your friendly, neighborhood global tyrant has not been slacking either. Once again, our mighty hamster scientists have stunned the world, and we will unleash upon an unsuspecting Scotland a new battalion of I.F.A.* Squirrel Commandos (* = Idividualized Flying Apparatus).
Let the bogs sink in fear! (Oh wait, they seem to have already...)

Better?

Since there was ambiguity for some regarding what exactly mother hamster was doing in the previous post, I thought I'd try another image of motherhood. They sorta look like big hamsters... in a way... from the right angle... Oh, never mind.

Happy Mothers' Day!

(First of all, if any of you let out that I indulged in human sentiment and compassion, you're all dead meat!)

In honor of Kel, Meritt, Mahala, and all the other blogger-Moms out there and all the stuff and self-sacrifice and everything they do...

Thank You!
(and NO, Mommy is NOT eating her young in this pic!)

Hamster Aphorism of the Week

What cannot be anticipated cannot be controlled.
What cannot be controlled is to be feared.
Constant vigilance!

Practice makes perfect...

Getting ready to rule Scotland.

"Legions... Attack!"

Having just secured Fern Lea Cottage in Yorkshire as a forward base for our invasion of Scotland this summer, here we have the much-feared "The Hamster's Own" 65th All Squirrel Paratrooper Battalion on a training flight for jumping onto the moors. Let the Highlands tremble in fear!

Whilst the Squirrel's away...

We've had our laboratories work up some potential stand-ins.

{insert wicked and fiendish hamster laugh here}

Hamster Aphorism of the Week

"Life is hard, but at least it's half over."

M' Lords, Ladies, and Gentlepersons...

We present to you, His Serene Grace,
the Archplatypus!

Howdy again!
(protocol requires you to stand and salute this time)

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack!

Yes, your beloved despot has resumed duties for his blog. Yes, you have my permission to rejoice with transports of unparalleled glee. Let me also thank my good and faithful subject, Lanfranc the Platypus for his exemplary service whilst I was attending to other matters. In recognition of this service, we create him

Archplatypus of the Imperial Hamster Realms

with all the rights and privileges attached thereunto (as soon as we figure out what exactly the rights and privileges attached to an Archplatypus are).

Now... back to business. In order to keep you all edified and entertained, we are starting a new feature here on WickedHamster:

The WickedHamster Aphorism of the Week!

From time to time, maybe like once a week, we will share some of our nuggets of wisdom by which we have become the modern, successful global tyrant we are, in the hope that you will find them improving. The aphorism for this week:

We so often forget that surprises in our lives
can be pleasant and joyful....
There's a reason for that.