All set and rarin' to go!

Next time you see me, the crown of Scotland will be on my head!

Forward.... March!

Let's see... Have to make sure I've got everything before I leave....

Portable throne - check
Imperial minions & bureaucrats to impose regulations, taxes, and otherwise bring civilization - check
Fish tacos - check
Selection of fine ales - check
Tasty little hamster treats - check
Custard tarts - pick up on march through England
Map to distilleries -check
Invitations to victory brunch - pick up at Kinko's on the way out; mail once we get there
oh yes...
Invincible rodent army - watch some twit forget to bring the invincible rodent army; I hate when that happens!

Kids!

Mom had a tough day on the playground

The Plus Side of Digital

Making up for the terror and depression engendered by the National Geographic Channel is the incomparable show on AZN (the Asian American Network) from Korea, "Hwang Jini." Set in 16th-century Korea, this fabulous historical soap opera tells the story of Hwang Jini, a poet, musician, dance artist and Korean cultural icon. The sets and costumes are a feast for the eyes, the plot gripping, and the story relates vivid truths about what it means to be human. I adore it - even with subtitles!

Adoration

It's gonna be a good day here at the HamsterPalace! The first email that popped up this AM was a piece of spam with the subject line:

"You've received an ecard from a Worshipper!"

What a swell way to start the day! Pity they have no idea how appropriate that was. I, of course, deleted without opening.
(O dear! I hope it wasn't from one of you guys!)

Know Your Critters!

for context, see:
http://hopfodder.blogspot.com/ for June 25th, 1st comment

On the right, the noble American Bison, aka buffalo. On the left, the rare Giant American Plains Hamster. It gets tricky out there in the woods!

07/07/07

I have, up to this point, gone through my life blissfully unaware of the date. I don't know what it is, but I've never been able to know the date, with a few exceptions, without looking at a calendar. (DG is fond of quoting Einstein who, when asked his home phone number, said he had to look it up. He explained he never cluttered his memory with information he could easily find.) Anywho... it wasn't until I started surfing this AM that I ran into stories about people getting married and engaging in other dangerous pursuits today because it was "lucky." Lucky... I read that and thought I heard the entire cosmos ring out with one voice the word "SUCK-ERS". I don't know about you, but I intend to stay in the house all day, where it's safe and sound and I am less likely to run afoul of the universe's notoriously sick sense of humor.

HamsterLaw

The successful cosmic tyrant is careful to legislate
for any eventuality.

The Miseries of Technology

We just got digital cable installed here at the HamsterPalace. The cable company was running a really good deal, and DG will finally be able to watch the Tour de France again, which these days is broadcast only on a channel which is available only on the digital service. Besides, your modern global despot needs to keep up with the latest technologies in order to maintain his enlightened rule. What a mistake! In the first couple of days I tuned into the National Geographic Channel. There I learned that plate tectonics will gradually push all the continents back together again. I fell into a deep depression. I mean, suddenly everything seemed so pointless. What's the use if it's just all going to get mushed back up again? Or am I overreacting? In either case, y'all be very, very careful about watching the National Geographic Channel. There are potential psychological issues...

If you want to be my hamster...

As a condition of gracing English soil with Our Rodentine Presence next month, We demanded that the Spice Girls get back together. Those of you who keep abreast (pardon the pun) of pop culture news will know that, in one of his first official acts, Mr. Brown, the new prime minister, acceded to my request. He knows what I want, what I really, really want!

HONK!!!

Nope! Definitely not a kazoo!

Deus Vult! (again)

Members of the Imperial Hamster General Staff visit the Pope to seek his blessing for the campaign against the heretic Scots.

(Queen Sophia hinted that he'd like the idea.)
Here, the Hereditary Imperial Lord High Marshall conveys The Hamster's greetings to the Pontiff.
(His Holiness appears pleased!)

Back by Popular Demand!

Since WC thought Her Most Catholic Majesty
was so cute, she asked me
to send this to him.

Stuck Again!

Once again, I can't think of anything to post. But I don't want to disappoint my fans (and get all those nasty "Why haven't you posted?" comments). So, here's a pic my good buddy Queen Sophia of Spain and the Lands Across the Ocean Sea sent me of her trotting off to christen a new navy ship. Web-pals are such fun!

Just Another Day at Work...

Here I am reviewing troops at a local "Success in Scotland" rally.

As Nicholas II once said: "God help me, but I love it so when they cheer!"

Oh Dear!

I can't think of anything to post...

I'm so embarrassed!

DEUS VULT!

As you can see, Our Minister for Religious Affairs

has been most assiduous in his duties!
(see http://www.churchsigngenerator.com)

Hamster Aphorism of the Week

What seemed true once
now appears only
to have been fashionable.

Wicked Hamster's Handy Protocol Tips

When meeting a global monarch,

it is considered very impolite to wear a hat flashier than that
of the monarch.

One if by land, two if by sea...

Here, our All-Capybara Amphibious Assault Battalion trains squirrel-monkeys (a primate clever enough to give itself a rodentine identity) for assault on Scottish coastal fortifications. Victory is assured!

-- Your All-Conquering and Ever-Victorious Despot