Planning

"Oh great. Time to plan the company picnic again. I hate doing this. I just know they're going to complain that the nachos were cold last year..."

Rodent Global Influence

"Yeah, we told Squirrel we'd hide some nuts for him over the winter. I'm pretty sure we put 'em here, but heck, who knows? You wouldn't happen to have any krill on ya, huh???"

Easter Chills!

Yes, it's allegedly Spring and all, but the temps here this weekend are only going to be in the 40's. Hence the Easter Bunny decided to dress for the weather this year.Happy Easter to all! -- By Decree of the Hamster

Laid Low!

For those who are getting restive for a new post from your Beloved Despot, allow me to plead illness. A week ago (right as Spring Break started - damned karma!) we were struck with a very unpleasant little bug and ended up in bed for 3 days.
We have recovered now, but many a HamsterTask must be attended to (among other things, the Scottish railroads need some attention). We will be posting again soon!

Yours tyrannically - WH

"Come Saturday Morning..."

Ah! Another brisk Spring morning here in the all-glorious Commonwealth!
Here, the intrepid DG dusts off the driveway before making a quick run to Fresh Market (like for bottled water, canned goods, kindling, signal flares...). Excuse the quality of the pic; it was shot through a window. I sure ain't goin' out in this crap!

On the bright side, the house was filled with the pitter-patter of little webbed feet as the birds rushed excitedly to press their little beaks against the windows. How cute!
Even Butterball was excited.
No you know why it's no accident that this is the place they invented bourbon. We need it!

Blessed Squirrel Event-Salute #2

Ya know, with our particular breed of house birds, this ISN'T supposed to happen!

A little something...

in honor of the upcoming blessed squirrel event.

TR's cousin

"No! We don't ALL like cold weather, THANK YOU! Sheesh! Always the same stupid questions, even on vacation! Can't a bird get any peace???"

Hail to the Chief

All was military pomp and pageantry this weekend in Hamsterland as Our new Marshall-in-Chief of the Invincible Imperial Hamster Armed Forces was formally installed into office.

Nature Lessons - Part 2

The Hamster: Often to be seen conquering Scotland in late summer.

Not a chicken.

From superior eggs come superior birds.

And from inferior eggs. . .

Mother Nature

Being an utterly devoted aficionado of Kel's blog, I find that her consummate environmentalism has rubbed off a bit. There is much I have learned about the wonders of nature and the delicate balance that sustains the creatures of the earth, great and small. Observe:

The Chicken: Highly desirable as back-yard scrap recycling equipment

The Woodchuck: Natural enemy of the chicken; has been known to chase these birds out of back yards

The Squirrel: Known to laugh hysterically whilst observing the life-and-death struggle twixt woodchuck and chicken

The Worm: Not nearly as good as the chicken

"I am. . . an anarCHIST!"

Christmas in February

It has come to Our Despotic Attention that, in all the excitement of the holidays and their aftermath, We neglected to describe the tributes of the nations and peoples sent in homage to Our Rodentine Person for Christmas. Well... OK... what We're actually talking about here are the gifts my sweet and wonderful DG gave me, but this wouldn't be the WickedHamster Blog without some sort of inflated claim. So here goes...

Let me say first that ALL DG's presents were COMPLETE surprises. I mean I had absolutely no clue, and the one large present wasn't at all what I thought it might be. What it was is shown here: two lovely baroque drawings of the equestrian statues of the emperors Hadrian and Marcus Aurelius in Rome. (Awww! Emperors! How did he know?) He purchased them at an auction in town, already framed. Frankly I don't know how old they are, but they are lovely, and PERFECT for filling up some empty wall space in the living room which has bothered me for years.The second surprises had to do with tea, i.e., a lovely classic white ceramic teapot, and a smaller glass plunge teapot from Bodrum.As Our readers may know from previous posts and comments elsewhere, We came to adore Yorkshire tea whilst We were encamped there for the conquest of Scotland last summer. Northerners like good, flavorful, strong tea, whilst those in the south - even London - prefer a weaker brew. I can honestly say I couldn't quite understand the attraction to tea until I went to Yorkshire and had the real stuff. So we have become just ever so civilized here at the HamsterPalace. I went out and got a lovely custom-made cozy from http://www.customcozies.com/ (go there if you are ever in the market for a tea cozy!) I found where to buy yummy Taylor's of Harrogate Yorkshire tea on the web (you can even get it on Amazon). We bought a proper British style electric kettle a few months back, when I first started toying with becoming a tea aficionado.
Besides, my old tea set was was getting a little worn...

Boom & Bust

Though the housing market here has gotten a bit shaky of late, in Antarctica an open house in a good neighborhood can still draw a good crowd .

In the news: Ovine Diplomacy

In a stunning diplomatic coup, the sheep have established formal relations with the Vatican for the first time. A private settlement on their copyright infringement suit over use of the phrase "Lamb of God" was reached last month, paving the way for normal diplomatic contacts. Terms of the settlement have not been released, but are presumed to include a large cash payment and grazing rights. Here, the first embassy arrives at the Holy See and is then greeted by the papal representative.

For those of you who've wondered...

what the abominable snowman looks like in the southern hemisphere:

Ho-Hum

Yet another slow Monday morning at the office...

Fab 5 Eat Your Heart Out!

Assiduous readers of the comments on Kel's blog will know that DG wants to redo his bathroom. I think that's a fine thing. The problem is, he keeps rejecting my decorating ideas.
Too much tile maybe???

Living Will

A couple of days ago, DG forwarded this to me, and I immediately sent it off to Kel. It struck me that I should perhaps share it with a wider audience.

Last night my daughter and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

Here they come again!

Travel always hated this time of year back home. It's the beginning of tourist season. All these strange creatures tramping through the front yard...

Out with the old...

It was quite a year. The conquest of Scotland. The first World Domination Summit. But there were the rough times, too. Like when the BBC outed our surveillance chief for the Far East.

Mysterious mammal caught on film

By Rebecca Morelle
Science reporter, BBC News
Monday, 10 December 2007, 00:36 GMT

An "extraordinary" desert creature has been caught on camera for what scientists believe is the first time. The long-eared jerboa, a tiny nocturnal mammal that is dwarfed by its enormous ears, can be found in deserts in Mongolia and China...