News from Bert!

I thought I'd check in on our London friends to make sure their silence was not an indication of having gone out for sushi recently. Happily all is well! Bert wanted me to let everyone know that he is fine and just plain busy. To wit:

"I have a lot of paperwork and 5 year olds in my life. Less than 3 weeks to my coursework first deadline."

That explains it. Nothing much here - said the man whose daily commute consists of walking upstairs.

Despotic Cheers to All!

Blogger Beta

NB: I have now migrated to Blogger Beta. Nothing has blown up in my face yet. Hopefully not in yours either.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

And for our European viewers out there, quit goofing off and get back to work!!!

-- by decree of The Hamster

More Hamster Management Secrets!

Brilliant! And in time for holiday gifts for those business rodents in your life!

http://www.despair.com

Mini Me

You will notice that I have a new apprentice, whom I have dubbed "littlewicked." If you click on his cute little hanster body, he will get some exercise on his wheel. Click again and he will stop and hop off. Click on "More" in the corner, and a luscious strawberry will pop up. Click on it and move it towards him. If you get it to the skittish little critter's mouth (he's new and a bit nervous on the job) and click, he'll take a bite. He just loves berries! We wish him well!

Hamster Management Secrets

In light of the recent American elections (which resulted in the installation of a Hamster-friendly regime; coincidence? I think not!) I thought I'd speak a bit about staying in power. A number of things keep your successful global despot on top. One is, of course, irresistible cuteness. But you can't just stop at good looks, ya know. It's also important to keep abreast of the latest management techniques. I've long been a fan of the classics "Who Moved My Cheese," which came out of the Business School at M.I.T. (the Mouse Institute of Technology). Solid rodent thinking, that one! I am now reading, through the kind offices of DG, the latest out of Harvard's School of Advanced Penguinity, "Our Iceberg Is Melting." The flightless aquatic avian approach to systems and management is no less thought-provoking. I recommend both to all you aspiring tyrants out there!

The Elections: A Global Despot's Perspective

Once again, the Americans are in political season, and the scurrilous, muddy mess is once again showing democracy for the false god it is. Hence the opportunity presents itself for me to say a few words about the benefits of Hamster Cosmic Government. First of all, it is tasteful and polite. Invoking one of my many role models, Louis XIV, elegance, gentility, and grandeur should be the hallmarks of any regime worth its proverbial salt. The ruled must look up to and be inspired by the ruler who, set apart, can bind the anarchic mob together with awe and majesty and give them what they cannot give themselves: La gloire. The people also want order, stability, and reason in their lives. This is not to be attained by setting forth on the stormy waters of partisan politics, believing in an ideal that sadly leads only to demagoguery. No. The rule of one benign domesticated rodent, who exalted above mere politics can, with reasoned and measured paw, look to the proper interests of all, rewarding the worthy, punishing the delinquent, meting out to all their due whether it be honor or chastisement, is clearly a superior form of government. The poet was most wise in saying: "Let there be one ruler, one king." It is this that we offer a disturbed world. Freed from the shackles of false ideology and the burdens of self-government, humanity may advance in peace and tranquility, with order and justice, under a rule that offers the best of all possible worlds. Submit to The Hamster, and be truly happy and free.